Understanding Guides

Active Listening to Help Improve Relationship

Active listening is a skill that one possesses and has developed a specific communication that allows one to fully hear what another person is trying to say. For a couple to achieve a long term relationship, it is vital that they communicate and listen in a meaningful way.

Allow time for the other person to speak

Providing space for the other person to speak will mean that there is willingness in you to refrain from either arguing your case while the other person is stating his/her position or to resist the urge to interrupt and cut off the other person speaking, in doing so, you are giving yourself the opportunity to listen and understand the person’s argument.

See yourself in the other person’s shoes

When you are in a dialogue with another person, you must establish a goal on focusing more on the other person’s emotional needs; in this way, you are putting yourself in the person’s shoes during the conversation and, in this way, you will be able to understand his/her perspective better and, at the same time, you begin to be an active listener, one who listens and tries to understand the other person’s side.

Don’t jump to conclusions

It is not right to immediately make conclusions when you are in the middle of a dialogue with a person because it means that you already have a pre-existing belief about the person and that blocks you from doing an active listening; therefore, to avoid this, clear your thought from this pre-existing belief and focus more on the dialogue, making a goal to resolve the issue for the betterment of both parties.

Ask questions

During the process of communication and listening to each other, when the other person has finished his/her position, it’s time to ask questions for clarification purposes, but don’t set the tone of asking questions like you are making accusations, and when the other person answers your questions, listen well to determine the truth of his/her statements.

Rephrase what the other person says

It’s not a negative way if you rephrase what you all heard from the other person because you are just confirming whether you heard it all right and by rephrasing what the other person says, you communicate back the points he/she has made objectively and, in doing so, you have understood clearly the other person’s point of view, which is still part of active listening. Learning how to be an active listener is being an effective communicator, such that when you are in a dialogue to resolve a relationship, by focusing on what the other person is saying will actually allow you to put yourself in a good position to understand more the situation, because when you listen correctly, you also learn more.