Observe and Move On! Narcissists Never Apologize!

When I think back to the past (for examples), and when I look to the present, there are some constants, some things that are the same in different situations, over different periods of time.

So how does one evaluate the genuineness of a friendship or of any relationship over time? What are the things that we can see that are “red flags” in everyday relationships, and possibly “red flags” in relationships in families or in co-workers or even at school? What are the key things that consistently show up that can warn us to beware, to be careful, to tread lightly?

This article might just help you in those areas, on the topic of finding safe people to be around, of finding those who are are genuinely interested in sincere friendship, a give and take relationship, a “both ways” friendship, one in which both persons work at the friendship or relationship rather than it just being a “I’ll take all; you give” type of negative relationship.

First listen and observe…

One of the first things you should look for is to note the “person” themselves, look at them, listen to them, see them, hear them, observe. Notice how they react to other people. For example, if there is a person who is constantly calling someone names, or constantly putting people down, realize that this is not “contained” behaviour. If a person constantly and consistently calls someone names or puts them down, most likely, that person does it to everyone, about everyone. Think about it. If a person is pointing out to you that someone is ugly, or sweaty or too short or too tall or too fat, and they are always doing this, most likely, that same name-caller is talking about you behind your back. Did you ever expect that? Probably not.

The Gossiper…

In today’s world, there are many people who gossip about others and they do it as a pastime, as a hobby. Usually these are people who have nothing better to do. They are either bored with their own lives or angry about their own situation. So, they use their time to gossip, to put others down, to belittle others in front of any audience that will listen to them. And so, if you listen, you are their audience.

Don’t be the audience!

But, beware, kiddies. You see, the truth is, that if you are someone’s audience, most likely, at any given time in the future or even in the present, you, the audience will or would become the target, the one who is spoken about. That’s the truth.

Gossippers do not contain their gossip. The ones who belittle other people to others, usually will be doing the same about you and your friends. Just wait, give it time, and you will see.

Beware the gossipers!

That’s the first red flag in a relationship whether that be at school or at work or at a community center or even on vacation or anywhere else. The person who spends their time putting down other people, is usually the same person who spends their time putting you down also, and calling you names also.

So lesson be learned, don’t be the gossiper’s audience. When possibly avoid being the audience. And if the gossiper doesn’t learn that people don’t want to hear the put downs, then make yourself scarce for the gossiper.

Never say sorry?

Quite possibly, the second red flag (a sign that you don’t want to spend lots of time with a particular person) might be about the person’s total inability to apologize to someone when they have done wrong. That’s right.

If somene has harmed you, whether it be physical or just verbal or emotional, and you have told the person that they have harmed you or that what they did was wrong, and they refuse to utter a sincere apology, you might want to take the next parts of that relationship with a grain of salt.

And why? Here’s why. If a person has harmed you, and they don’t apologize, that can mean only that they have no intention of not repeating the same offense, whatever the offense is. If they try to “explain” it away, or double talk you and still don’t apologize; they don’t admit they were wrong, then they are not sincere in wanting to value your friendship or your relationship.

Don’t be bait!

A person who has harmed you, either by accident or on purpose, and who has not apologized to you, knows that you are bait and you will accept practically anything from them. That’s pretty much how it comes across.

Do you really want someone like that around you for any extended periods of time?

Are you happy knowing that the person refuses to apologize –ever? (Perhaps that is not the first time that they have not apologized. Perhaps they have harmed you once or twice or even three times before and never apologized? Isn’t that obvious that they are not valuing your friendship? Only you can answer that question.

The False Apology

And now, we come to what is known as the “false apology”. The false apology is one in which the person verbally tells you they are sorry, but in the same sentence or in the same letter, or in the same email, they “blame” you for something. So basically, they are blaming you for what they did to you. And that negates their apology and that makes their apology a fake apology.

For example, the person says, “I’m sorry”, and then goes on to say, “But you, this and that, and you shouldn’t have done this or that” –and they connect that whatever it is –with their reason for their apology. Trix are for kids! That’s right, like the rabbit says, “Tricks are for kids”, not for adults! So when it comes to adults and when it comes to sincere apologies, let’s not beat around the bush with the tricks and the word games and the mind games.

If you see any of these red flags in that so-called apology, that person really hasn’t apologized to you, at all. What they are saying to you is “Yes, I know that you need me to apologize to you, so I’m verbally saying “sorry” to you, however, I’m going to use this time, this apology time (letter, email, etc) to blame you for something.

They blame you?

That’s no apology!

Someone who is sincerely sorry, and someone who has no intentions of harming you in that same way again, will not blame you for something when they apologize to you. A sincere person will apologize PERIOD! That’s right. A sincere person who is sorry for what they did or for what they said, will tell you genuinely that they are sorry ( in more than two words, smiles), and they will not utter anything about blaming you for anything. And that’s the truth.

Once you hear the person apologizing and in that same moment, they are blaming you for something, that person is rescinding their apology, in other words, they are offereing a false apology.

Are you ready to have a person like that around you for extended periods of time? Are you ready to extend any energy or any friendsip to a person who will do wrong and then try to blame you with their ‘apology”?

Most people…

Most people rarely do something that requires an apology, so, this article is really focusing on the rare individual, that one has it deeply imbedded in their soul that they are never wrong, never do wrong and therefore never need to apologize. Just a handful fit that bill. So, don’t let this article keep you away from making friends but rather just let it open your eyes to the small handful in this world that are mainly there to never apologize after they do wrong.

If you keep your eyes and ears open for those two red flags, you just might avoid getting tangled into the web of someone who could potentially harm you deeply in the future. After all, if a person isn’t held accountable for what they do and they continuously don’t take responsibility for what they do, that person really has no incentive to be nice in the future.

In summary, thankfully, there are only a few individuals that you will ever meet that will wave those two red flags at you and expect you to still be there for them, to be their audience or to be their “have it my way” friend.

So, go out, have fun, be cool, and meet new friends. Enjoy life! Do things that you enjoy doing! Go places that you enjoy going to. And most of all, be with people who you want to be with and who want to be with you!

Are You Drowning in Emails? 6 Tips to Get Out From Under

When I was a child, I loved running to the door whenever I heard the mail carrier arrived. I would stand there waiting to grab the envelopes before they were stuffed into the mailbox. I didn’t want to waste a minute.

I couldn’t wait to see if there was anything exciting or unexpected for me. Most days, admittedly, there weren’t. But, occasionally a birthday invitation or a letter from my grandma would surprise me and make my day.

Monday through Saturday, once a day, I delighted in the potential that delivery might bring.

These days, I barely notice when mail gets shoved through my door slot. If it weren’t for my dog’s barking, I wouldn’t even know it had arrived.

That rush and thrill of the unknown are now experienced innumerable times each day. All I have to do is look at my inbox. Whether at my computer, my tablet, or my phone, anywhere, anytime, “You’ve got mail” can light up the pleasure zone in my brain.

However, that trigger leads to an addictive habit-checking email regularly throughout the day. As an entrepreneur, this habit is non-productive, and a stress-inducing pattern that I have had to learn to control.

Indeed, research proves that the pleasure zone in the brain that lights up every time a gambler, alcoholic or shopaholic reaches for their fix is the same one in our brains when we check our emails. And, the more we do so, the more we have to do so, to receive that same pleasurable sensation.

Many business professionals might argue with me when I say constantly checking emails is a problem. They’ll tell me it’s convenient always to have access to emails wherever and whenever you want. And, how great it is to be instantly able to respond to customers, or get caught up on the latest industry news.

I can only tell you what the research is finding, and what I saw happening to me and so many of my clients when email became an addictive habit.

When the first thing we do each day is read our emails, even before getting out of bed, inadvertently, we hand over our day’s agenda. Most emails are requesting something from us: a response to an inquiry, a decision to purchase something, or to read the important news we think is urgent for us to know.

Rather than attending to what is most important to us and our business, we find ourselves going down the rabbit hole; we are responding, reading or looking at info that’s relevant to someone else.

Although surveys and studies indicate the average adult checks their emails approximately 15 times a day, for many, it could be way more. The Relevancy Group is a market research company which measures consumer and executive behaviors. They found 66% of online consumers check their email account multiple times per day, with 13% of online consumers checking their email hourly or more frequently. We are diving into the inbox all day, every day; it’s no wonder we feel like we are drowning in email.

With all these emails staring at us, our brains receive the subtle message that we have so much to do. Others are waiting for a response from us. It’s stressful! And time-consuming!

Respond immediately to email, and you will find you’ve turned your attention away from whatever else you were working on, or intended to work on. Don’t respond, and the pile just gets larger and larger causing us to feel out of control.

Our to-do list gets longer each time we try to attend to those unread emails. Or the ones that have been sitting in our inbox for weeks. FOMO (fear of missing out) increases, so we don’t delete. We tell ourselves we’ll get to that when we have the time.

Sometimes, we check email hoping it will direct us towards what to do with our day, rather than proactively deciding what’s the most important task we should be working on.

Or worse yet, we use email to procrastinate. When there’s something that we don’t want to do, it’s amazing what our brains can come up with to avoid doing what needs to be done. Email is such a great excuse! We tell ourselves, “I’ll just clean up the inbox first, and then get down to work.” Before you know it, hours have gone by, and now the message is, “There’s not enough time today. I’ll handle this tomorrow.”

When reading the same email we’ve looked at several times before, we are procrastinating making a decision. We’re not sure how we want to respond, or if this is necessary info we’ll need in the future, or is this item something we may want to buy. Procrastination adds to our sense of anxiety and stress.

The research shows that the more we give into this addictive email habit, the more our stress levels increase. One study out of the University of British Columbia proved the opposite-less frequent email checks made people much happier throughout the day.

So, if we could break the habit of constantly checking our emails throughout the day, we’d reduce our stress, be more productive, and be happier! To me, it seems well worth it to try and do so.

Instead of responding to emails one by one as they roll in, set aside certain times of the day (perhaps morning, afternoon and night) to tend to messages. Doing so will help you feel more in control of the flow, and you won’t be switching back and forth between different tasks all day.

Are you ready to reduce your dependency on email, lower your stress, stop procrastinating and feel more in control of your life? If so, you need to learn some very specific strategies to deal effectively with this problem.

  1. Decide on an email schedule that makes sense for your business and your lifestyle. Unless you are in customer service or another business in which responding to emails instantly is your job, almost everyone can reduce the frequency of diving into the inbox.
  2. Shut down your email program and all notifications about mail, and only have it open during the allotted times.
  3. Resist opening your email first thing in the morning. Exercise, eat a healthy breakfast, plan out the day ahead, and work on the most important project for that day for at least an hour.
  4. Develop a system to manage emails and keep your inbox relatively free. Train yourself to handle each email only once. Take care of it, delete it, delegate it, or file.
  5. Unsubscribe to all emails that you never get around to reading or you know cause you to waste time. If unsubscribing makes you uncomfortable, remind yourself that you can always resubscribe if you find yourself missing them in the future.
  6. Create a read laterfolder for the newsletters you enjoy and that bring value to your life. Move those emails immediately out of your inbox, and know when you will get to them. Clean that folder out at the end of each week. Take the time to either read or delete those you haven’t gotten to.

It took me awhile to wean myself off of constantly checking my emails and to come up with a system that works for me. Truth be told, sometimes I waiver.

But when I do, I quickly notice I am procrastinating getting important stuff done, and my stress level is increasing along with the number of emails sitting in my inbox. So, I go back to basics and follow my system.

Now, I recognize that asking you only to check your email three or four times a day initially could cause you more stress! But, once you break this addictive habit and experience how much more relaxed and accomplished life feels, you’ll be so glad you did!

Are You Really Sorry – How Are Your Communicating Skills?

Are you really sorry, how do you communicate? Do you really care or just pay lip-service to the words. In both our private lives and business it is how we communicate that makes all the difference.

Relationships between people and negotiations depend on win-win solutions, on empathy and seeing the other persons view. As the Hiawatha saying: you have to walk in the other mans shoes to know how they are feeling.

Cooperation between parents and children or teenagers depends on the understanding, trust and empathy of the relationship. Prisoners who meet-up with their victims and show remorse can make a new start and help their victims come to terms with their loss. “I’m sorry” two little words with big impact.

How well do you communicate with your customers or clients, maybe the delivery was late, do they feel you really care or just want their money? To build a following of loyal customers show them you care and understand their needs with your products. Always give great value, be honest, treat them as you would like to be treated. One tip to bring customers back and get referrals is to offer incredible value in your free offers, make them good enough to buy and you will gain respect and more customers eager for your offers.

Reward people well for remaining loyal over time and returning for more products. Don’t be like the giant companies that make offers for new customers at the expense of regulars, some charge unreasonable amounts and hope they won’t notice. BT is one culprit also some insurance companies, I know I’ve been caught, it isn’t until you say you will go elsewhere, they start to treat you with respect. They will learn it cost more to gain new customers than keep your existing ones happy!

There is nothing more likely to lose you customers than treating them unfairly. Customers are the life-blood of your business.

Scale Your Business With Help Of Modern Telecommunication Infrastructure

Communication is one of the most important attributes in a business that plays a very significant role in determining its success. Communication takes place at many levels, it is between employees, between business owners, between customers and business and vice versa. Communication system is the bridge between many verticals present in a business. The essential data and information is flowed through various channels of communication. As the technology has advanced to an all time greatest extent, communication infrastructure also has progressed hugely. There is no such industry that can excel without an efficient communication network. Communication system in various sectors also affects the overall economy of a country directly or indirectly. Some major industries like –

  • Agriculture
  • Infrastructure
  • Education
  • Healthcare
  • Construction
  • Manufacturing

and so on are overarching factors in a country’s economy. And the communication system in these industries is the stimuli to boost the income and economy of that country. The ways the communication infrastructure of a company affects it are as following –

Operational Cost – Automated features reduces the cost of physical communication system by a huge difference. Integration of internet with the modern telecom system makes it easier to communicate in a cost and time effective manner.

Service Quality – Telephones are the most used medium of communication. With telecommunication, you can reach the customer anytime. Modern telecom systems have advanced techniques that help you connect with different departments and clients simultaneously without the problem of busy lines.

Customer Relationship – You can build better relations with the target customers with the help of modern search and contact management features of telecom services. You can reduce the time by focused communication in place of random rigorous calls.

Marketing Plans – Modern telecom infrastructure allows you to coordinate with the potential customer base that boosts your marketing plans and increase overall sales and profit. You can understand about customer behaviors and trends in a better way which will trigger your marketing strategies.

Remote Access – Due to wireless communication equipment, the businesses have gained a remote access to the core work. Mobile communication offers a network to operate from any place and any time.

Collaboration – A better and more efficient collaboration among different departments in a company can increase the performance level. The information redundancy issue is also minimized with the help of a transparent communication.

Learn About The Effective Communication Skills

Communication is the art of delivering your ideas to the world in the best possible way. Effective communication skills will not only help you, but also the people you are dealing with. Here are some basic tips you need to adopt to strengthen your communication skills.

Pay Attention:

Every conversation requires attention. Give an impression that you are fervent about the conversation. Express the right emotions and try to apprehend the views of other persons. Adopting this skill will remarkably improve your communication level. This skill, helps people build a strong connection with people. Avoid using your phone during conversations unless it is highly necessary.

Ask Questions:

Asking questions is a way of knowing that the person is showing attentiveness in the conversation. It will also help in ending the awkward silences in the discussion. Ask the right questions but avoid being too inquisitive. Do not persist on issues which the other person is not comfortable in responding. Questions asked should help in steering the conversation at the right direction. It also aids in gaining the right perception about the person.

The Body Language:

People reveal a lot about themselves by nonverbal communication. Their body language, posture and even voice tone can help you understand their attitude. Verbal and non-verbal communication should always synchronize. While conversing, you can observe the person’s hand gestures, face expressions and even attire. Though it should be noted that the apparel of a person can be subjected to one’s religious or cultural beliefs.

Listening:

One of the most important aspect of communication is to listen. You should decipher what the other person has to convey. Listening is very significant tool which not everybody possess. All the leaders are great listeners. Hence, to improve your communication, be patient and listen. Don’t impose your opinions and views before hearing the other person’s perspective. This quality will also help you know about the strengths and weakness of the speaker.

Build Eye Contact:

Establishing eye contact is very essential. Eye contact signifies that the person is genuine and trust worthy. It also makes the other person pay more attention to the conversation making it meaningful. It also intensifications the confidence level of the speaker or listener. However, moderation is highly recommended as it can turn into glare or when conversing with the opposite gender.

Offer Encouragement:

Not everyone can master the art of communication. If you are dealing with a person who is unable to communicate well, then try to help out in the situation. A little encouragement is always appreciated. It will help the person in building connection with you. Give advices, especially if the person is younger then you or in a complex situation. Show your smile and lighten up the environment. Include their name in the conversation often, as it makes a person emotionally powerful.

Improving communication skills gives you the edge in connecting with people, personally and professionally. Observe how the leaders communicates. Learn their methods and implement them.

Customized School Bell System For Effective Time Management

Schools bells control the proceedings of an educational institution and are the primary tool for keeping things under control while dealing with thousands of attendance. The electric bells installed in the school and college institutions have been instrumental in running classes in a controlled manner though they had their own fallibility such as the human factor. Electric bells are activated by human hand &hence have every chance of failing to comply with the timings in rare cases which are strictly not permissible in a school environment. The new school bell system activated electronically by computer software has no such vulnerability and is the ideal replacement for the old manual bell system.

Manual bells are clumsy to operate and may fail sometimes owing to human failure to mechanical defects but with the computer software controlled school bell system, this is next to impossible as it is accurate to the microseconds and will work according to the schedule programmed in the software. Computers have taken over several tasks that used to be a manual job in the past and the bell systems for schools to have been designed and developed by software companies that specialize in time management. The system takes its time from the advanced time tracking systems like GPS and activates manual bells already installed within the school premises with a help of a battery-operated the transmitter. The device is connected with the software which gives directions on when to ring bells according to the timetable of an institution.

The new system offers several advantages as it firstly does away with human involvement that used to be with manual bells in the past and secondly ring the bells according to the time fed into the program without any kind of delay or fault. The system is very precise while ringing the school bell as everything has been programmed to the last detail. The new school bell system is state of the art and is easy to install and operate and one can combine the system with the old manual bells and avoid the cost of installing new bells. This versatile system could be customized to work according to the need of a particular institution hence it is absolutely ideal.

The Importance of 3D Architectural Visualisation For Manufacturing Industry

Business today is becoming more complex and completive with every passing day. To meet the elevated challenge of this industry is it important to be unique and innovative. Especially when you are related to the construction or manufacturing, 3D architectural visualisation plays a very vital role in improving the overall operational efficiency and cost benefits. In construction and manufacturing business people like what they see, therefore it is important that you present your building or product in the most attractive manner.

There are professional architectural visualisation and rendering experts who can offer you their potential help in this direction. They can help you visualise the structure and interior of a project without even actually visiting it. These architecture visualisation experts use the best tools to deliver quality output with accurate life-like images. If you are still not clear about hiring 3D rendering and architectural visualisation services for your construction or manufacturing business, here are a few reasons to make your thoughts clear.

Below we have discussed some key benefits of engaging 3D architectural visualisation services in construction and manufacturing. Read on.

1. Greater understanding

3D architectural visualisation creates comprehensive mock-up of a building or product just like it would come into view in real time. This offers ease of understanding when evaluating the texture, elevation, and other critical aspects of construction. You can identify and rectify flaws in designing without any sort of delay.

2. Greater cost saving

Cost saving and greater operational efficiency are some of the most effective advantages of 3D architectural visualisation and rendering services. With the help of realistic graphics and animations, you can save a lot of money which may have been wasted in fixing faults after the actual construction process. Architectural visualisation allows you to identify any fault before implementation and fix it in no time.

3. Elevated operational efficiency

3D architectural visualisation processes eliminate all possible loopholes in the designing phase. This further improves the operational efficiency of the project with added benefits of prompt and cost effective implementation.

4. Easy approval

Architectural visualisation and rendering help you gain confidence and win government approval more easily. Every year there are many building projects and designs that are rejected by local authorities due to their unnecessary flaws. In order to avoid this in your project, make the use of 3D architectural visualisation services.

5. Greater curb appeal

Architectural visualisation results serve as a great marketing tool for properties and products. They deliver spectacular realistic visualisations that attract more customers or buyers. According to recent business trends, architectural rendering or 3D visualisation is one of the most effective tools for advertisement.

Whether you are an architect, designer, contractor, developer, or planner, hiring 3D architectural visualisation services is your secret for achieving all the above benefits in your business. There are plenty of prompt companies in this industry that specialise in providing comprehensive 3D architectural visualisation and rendering services. You can get in contact with the best companies in your locality and select the one who offers you an unbeatable deal.

3D architectural visualisation plays a very vital role in improving the overall operational efficiency and cost benefits. In construction and manufacturing business people like what they see, therefore it is important that you present your building or product in the most attractive manner. offers ease of understanding when evaluating the texture, elevation, and other critical aspects of construction. You can identify and rectify flaws in designing without any sort of delay.