Valuable Lessons I’ve Learned About Resources

When Traveling – Should your Dog Stay or Hit the Road

Without a doubt, having pets is enjoyable but the problem arise when you are expected to travel at a place far from them. If you have pets relying on your care, you have to make sure they get all the care and assistance they need while you are away from them. More often than not, dogs are usually handled by a kennel service provider which makes things easier for the owners. Are these services even enough to handle the needs of your dog? Would it be possible for your dogs to feel happy with those services? Just merely thinking of those questions can stir your mind into different possibilities that makes your decision making more difficult. Hopefully after reading the information below you are able to weigh your options and make a better decision whether to take them with you or leave them with professionals. As of the moment, you can start contemplating and book the flights.

If you want to avoid the hassle in bringing your dogs with you while traveling overseas it might be a good thing to leave them in a kennel. There will be professionals who will visit them regularly to provide for their needs hence you can be at ease while you’re on a trip. Companies that provide these services have also medical personnel just in case something happens. They will provide all the possible medications for your dogs if they are hurt or not feeling well. Since your dog are kept safe in your own home it somehow lessens your anxiety of leaving them. It is already satisfying for owners to know that their dogs are given all the necessary care they need while they are far from them. Since you are not fully acquainted of the people who will take care of their needs you might be worried about leaving them with strangers. The worries that you have is reasonable most especially if your dog has a deep attachment with you not to mention very clingy.

If you are not comfortable leaving them in a kennel then you are face with one viable option and that is to take them on a trip with you. Since most airlines nowadays are very open in accommodating dogs it is not a big issue to bring them with you as long as you were able to voice out your concerns of bringing them ahead of time. The good thing about having them while you’re on a trip is that you can monitor them. They won’t feel any loneliness since you are with them. They will have the chance to enjoy and have the best time of their life. It is not only humans who enjoy traveling in different places but also dogs. Being able to see a different view and sniffing out new scents is very enjoyable for canines.

Suggested Post: anonymous

Lessons Learned About Experts

Freelancing Still Requires Finances

Most people would love to trade their job for freelancing. You simply have to commute from bed to your study which is something that majority of the people crave, and yet it comes with a number of pitfalls that a lot of people fail to consider. There’s a lot of comfort that freelancing can provide such as being your own boss and working in the comfort of your own home, but if you’re self-employed, it would mean to say that you will have to some financial paperwork that needs to be taken seriously and that you should know how to fix them.

Working for a company, no matter how big or small it is, you get to enjoy a certain level of financial security. One of the reasons why people would hate going to work in a company is that they might be bored already with the usual routing unlike freelancing where they have control over their schedule and can cut costs for commuting and clothing. In case you’re not yet aware, working at home also comes with its own set of costs. With that in mind, you may want to consider the following things first before you switch to working at home.

The huge benefit that you can enjoy with freelancing is that you can actually have savings on a daily basis. You no longer have to spend on gas in your car just so you can commute to work. You won’t have to spend on travel pass every month. Without having to commute for work, you get to have extra time to work which means that you have the chance to earn more rather than only working within a fixed hour a day for a fixed payment.

Also, before you choose freelancing over your steady job with benefits that you may have already been enjoying, you should take a good look at your bank statement. See if you’ve already saved a lot and make sure it’s enough to save support you until you start to receive your next wage again. You’ll probably notice that things can be a bit slow at first if you just moved into freelance recently, so it is crucial that you can back yourself up for at least three months just to make sure.

You should be aware of the fact that most freelance jobs are contracted, so you have to build a solid relationship with clients in order to assure yourself that you get to have a regular work stream. Always keep in mind that a freelancer’s income vary depending on the time of year, so it’s crucial that you plan ahead.

The finances you have as a freelancer will definitely vary, and there are quite a lot of things that you need to consider before deciding on leaving your workplace wherein you receive stable pay.

Resource: discover here

Why No One Talks About Health Anymore

Healthy Benefits of Exercises

Health is the condition of the proper functioning of the parts of the body. People love to keep their body healthy. Individuals cannot be in a position to their daily works when their body is unhealthy. The body can be unhealthy as a result of infections and physical injuries. Ailments make the body to be unwell by reducing its immunity. Physical injuries make the structures of the body lose their functions. It should be the aim of everyone to contribute towards the fitness of the body. There are various strategies we can use to boost the fitness of the body. Our body can be healthy through curing infections. The body cannot stay without being attacked by bacterial, viral, and fungal diseases. The causative agents of diseases are harmful microorganisms. It is good to see a doctor for the diagnosis and treatment of diseases. Most of the infections are treated using different types of drugs such as antibiotics and antidepressants. People can keep their body healthy by taking healthy foods. Diet entails all healthy foods and beverages.

There are many classes of foods we can take for the general health of our body. Examples of classes of foods that we can use for the health of the body are grains, fruits, and vegetables. Expect foods to have all the nutrients needed for the health of the body. Some of the examples of types of nutrients found in foods are vitamins, carbohydrates, minerals, and proteins. Water is very important for the general health of the body. Water plays a role in the detoxification and dehydration process in the body. A normal person is supposed to take eight glasses of water daily for the general health of the body. Our body can be healthy through exercises. Expect exercises to be physical activities which makes structures such as tendons and muscles be stimulated. There are many forms of exercises people can try for the general health of the body.

Some of the examples of types of exercises are lifting weights, jogging, running, and walking. Individuals can engage in exercises in places such as gyms and playing fields. Exercises are of great importance in a several ways. It is through participating in exercises that the body becomes strong and flexible. It is for an example known for individuals who lift weights to have strong triceps and biceps muscles. People can burn extra cholesterol in the body by doing exercises. People with extra cholesterol in the body are usually at risk of heart diseases. Exercises bring about the cooling effect in the body by sweating. Exercises make one to be active at all times. Gyms are avenues where people can interact with one another.

Secrets of Effective Business Communication

The ability to communicate well is one of the biggest factors in the success of any business organization. You can be an excellent designer, but if you are unable to promote your services and communicate effectively with clients and colleagues, then your potential is limited.

The main areas where communication is essential are:

  • Attracting potential clients
  • Customer service
  • Client meetings

1. Attracting Potential Clients: When you own any business, your livelihood depends on your ability to sell your services. You have to convince prospects that you are the best person for the job, and the following communication secrets in this article will help you do this:

  • Always ask Right Questions: To sell the services, you have to understand the client’s unique needs. And this can be done only by asking questions that get to the heart of the challenges they are facing. Understanding the problems of the problems, you can pitch your services as the best possible option for the client.
  • Communicate Professionally: Your professionalism can win you contracts and your communication skills add to the complete package. Proofread all your emails prior to sending and always use a business email address with a proper signature. Always speak articulately and competently at all times.

2. Customer service: Your clients want to feel that they are your priority. And you can make them feel so by providing exemplary customer service. Use the following communication-focused actions to improve your customer service.

  • Address Problems: If a client is not happy, don’t ignore their complaints. Simply ask them why they are unhappy and what you can do to fix the situation. Your willingness to face the problem head-on tells the client that you care about the project and their satisfaction.
  • Ask for Feedback: One method of maintaining long-term relationships with your clients is by keeping open lines of communication. It means you should keep on asking them for their input on how things are going and how they feel about the service you are providing. This can be done by inquiring at the end of a project, or during day-to-day conversations or through formal surveys.

3. Clients Meetings: Client meetings are an integral part of every successful business. Try the following tips to make your meetings as productive as possible:

  • Schedule and Prepare thoroughly: Schedule your meetings in advance to ensures that you and your clients have an adequate amount of uninterrupted time to speak. Take time to prepare an agenda that outlines focus points and sets a structure. Also, sharing the agenda for the meeting gives both you and the client an opportunity to fully prepare.
  • Speak, Pause and Listen: When you have several topics to discuss, rushing through them to get all of your ideas out may be tempting. But, this can cause confusion and makes the client feel that their input is not important. So, Just slow down and remember that communication is a two-way street. Develop a give-and-take that allows both parties to have their say.

Improving your communication skills is worth the time and effort, but you will be surprised by how much you benefit from more polished and professional interaction.

What do you think? What impact communication had on your business success?

Communication Skills and Its Importance

Communication is the act of conveying meaningful information about a person/person, this can be vocally (using voice), written (using printed or digital media such as books, magazines, websites or emails), visually (using logos, maps, charts or graphs) or non-verbally (using body language, gestures and the tone and pitch of voice).

In today’s digital age, communication is easily done in several formats, but it’s also important to retain the ability to verbally communicate as well, we share our views and ideas with each other by communicating. Man is a social animal and thus needs the other person to express himself and to live an interactive life. How well this information can be conveyed and received is a measure of how good our communication skills are.

Developing these skills can help in all spheres of our life. Be it an interview or dealing with the project leader or working out a solution with a team or writing a report, getting across the point effectively is what matters. It’s never too late to work on communication and by doing so improve quality of life. Better communication helps in good performance in job.

Communication Skills and its Importance

Professionally, when we apply for jobs or look for promotion with the present employer, there will certainly be a need to demonstrate good communication skills. For example, the ability to: speak appropriately with a wide variety of people whilst maintaining good eye contact, demonstrate a varied vocabulary and tailor language according to the audience, listen effectively so on and so forth. Many of these are important skills that employers seek.

Also it helps us in understanding others, not just their words, but also their tone of voice, their non verbal gestures and what their values and priorities may be. Active listening and reading are also part of being a successful communicator. For career growth, the importance of communication skills increases; the ability to speak, listen, question and write with clarity and conciseness are essential for most managers and leaders. Being able to communicate well with others is often essential to solving problems that inevitably occur both in our private and professional live The process of improving communication involves both how we send and receive messages.

Success in life

Both speaking and writing are reflections of our thoughts, experience, and education. Part of that combination is our level of experience that is listening to other speakers, reading documents and styles of writing and studying formats. It’s the effective communication skills which holds the key to success in many aspects of life. Acquiring and using the skills in the right way is all that matters to achieve our desired goal in life.

Pros and Cons of Managed Services

Today, there are lots of business companies which prefer to tie up with any third party company to get support on IT related chores. You can rely on the managed services for technological outsourcing as this is regarded as one of the best model for the vendors and also for the outsourcing organizations if you have a business and want to expand it overnight. Use of technology is increasing at every sector. Earlier, the organizations used calendars and various physical components to carry on their job. Now-a-days, the competition is becoming very serious. You can’t afford to miss any chance to progress. Therefore, the third party companies are coming ahead to provide help on maintaining proper infrastructure of the organization. Before relying on such company you must know the pros and cons of such services.

Pros of Managed Services

Every business organization has huge burden of expanding the business now and then. They have to make strategies and proper game plans and execute those effectively. Therefore, it becomes difficult to do all necessary services by themselves or contact manage services providers to take up the responsibilities on behalf of them.

The advantages of these services are-

1. Favorable Maintenance Infrastructure- Primarily, managed hosting companies put a number of best choices and effective performances in a nutshell. It becomes challenging for the companies to choose from their myriad set of applications. But one thing is sure that if a company hires such services, it will get well-integrated result within time. They always keep you updated, mange without any dispute and offer different level of agreements which entrust you with efficient availability.

2. Cost Effective- Have you ever thought how much do you need to invest for buying new server or organizing interview sessions to appoint recruits to host a single set of work? It is always more than contacting managed service providers. Why to spend unnecessarily while you can have the benefits of these services?

3. Easy Installation- In the competitive market of business, time is money. If you can’t run faster you’ll be lagged behind. Managed services providers always keep you in the run. They can be deployed very fast and take less time to function immediately and meet new demands.

4. Expert Monitoring- The administrative department has other assignments to complete. So, it is not possible to watch over the network hardware and servers. If the IT department of a company utilize MSP, it will be easier to monitor technological performances on the basis of 24*7.

Cons of Managed Services

1. Instability- There are certain disadvantages of MSP. Actually, when an organization depends upon these services, they assume that the business will hike a lot. If the Managed Service Provider fails to meet the need of the organization, they are the one to be blamed. Such incidents can hamper their reputation.

2. Huge Pressure- It is natural that an organization may not get positive result from a MSP. When they switch to another, they have huge expectations from the new third party organization.

Overall, it can be said that managed services providers are full of benefits for any type of business organizations. If you are expanding your business, take help from them and do your chores without any tension.

Silent Behavior Modification

When one thinks of sign language, he or she may think it is a language utilized only by the deaf or hard of hearing. Previously, parents had to wait until their child’s vocal chords developed in order to understand their needs and wants. Sign language enables children to communicate at a much earlier stage of development. With a recent newfound interest in the language, one must ask why it isn’t being utilized as a teaching strategy to help in the classroom?

Often times, a staff’s biggest challenge is student’s behavior throughout the day. Creativity can often be seen being replaced by a teacher who raises her volume to grab the attention of her stimulated students. As educator’s it is imperative that creative and new means are utilized in order to help ensure an environment that enables the children to thrive.

Sign language allows a teacher to accomplish this goal while engaging the children and teaching them something new and challenging. The first step is to introduce the language into the classroom. Whether it is through a hired staff member, or the teachers themselves taking the initiative to learn some of the basic signs and then pass the knowledge along. This can be done by going online. There are great websites available, where signs are modeled making it simple for everyone to learn, and words can be looked up the same as they would in a dictionary.

Students will enjoy being assigned animals. Allow the children to pick the animal they wish to be, or help them to establish a “sign name”. After this is done, help the children to practice and learn their new classmates sign. Another important sign is restroom. How many times is a teacher interrupted by the shouting of “Can I go to the potty”? Instead, the children can use their new language to ask to use the restroom, and the teacher can acknowledge giving permission without missing a beat. Another perk, are the signs stop and please.

Throughout the day re-direction is ongoing. Often times a teacher can grow weary of asking a child to discontinue with an action. Signing stop please or asking the child to move to another area, as well as, a quiet transition can be a nice change to what is often an over stimulated and non-responsive environment. Creativity in implementing this knowledge is imperative. If used and taught properly, one will quickly find that the need for the term to “use an inside voice” will soon disappear. It does not happen overnight, and each group of students brings a different dynamic to the table, but with time, patience, and perseverance this language opens a vast horizon of changing the atmosphere in one’s classroom.

7 Cs of Communication

According to the 7 Cs, communication needs to be:

1. Clear.
2. Concise.
3. Concrete.
4. Correct.
5. Coherent.
6. Complete.
7. Courteous.

In this article, we look at each of the 7 Cs of Communication, and we’ll illustrate each element with both good and bad examples.

1. Clear

When writing or speaking to someone, be clear about your goal or message. What is your purpose in communicating with this person? If you’re not sure, then your audience won’t be sure either.

To be clear, try to minimize the number of ideas in each sentence. Make sure that it’s easy for your reader to understand your meaning. People shouldn’t have to “read between the lines” and make assumptions on their own to understand what you’re trying to say.

Bad Example

Hi John,

I wanted to write you a quick note about Daniel, who’s working in your department. He’s a great asset, and I’d like to talk to you more about him when you have time.

Best,
Skip

What is this email about? Well, we’re not sure. First, if there are multiple Daniels in John’s department, John won’t know who Skip is talking about.

Good Example

Hi John,

I wanted to write you a quick note about Daniel Kedar, who’s working in your department. In recent weeks, he’s helped the IT department through several pressing deadlines on his own time.

We’ve got a tough upgrade project due to run over the next three months, and his knowledge and skills would prove invaluable. Could we please have his help with this work?

I’d appreciate speaking with you about this. When is it best to call you to discuss this further?

Best wishes,
Skip

This second message is much clearer, because the reader has the information he needs to take action.

2. Concise

When you’re concise in your communication, you stick to the point and keep it brief. Your audience doesn’t want to read six sentences when you could communicate your message in three.

• Are there any adjectives or “filler words” that you can delete? You can often eliminate words like “for instance,” “you see,” “definitely,” “kind of,” “literally,” “basically,” or “I mean.”
• Are there any unnecessary sentences?
• Have you repeated the point several times, in different ways?

Bad Example

Hi Matt,

I wanted to touch base with you about the email marketing campaign we kind of sketched out last Thursday. I really think that our target market is definitely going to want to see the company’s philanthropic efforts. I think that could make a big impact, and it would stay in their minds longer than a sales pitch.

For instance, if we talk about the company’s efforts to become sustainable, as well as the charity work we’re doing in local schools, then the people that we want to attract are going to remember our message longer. The impact will just be greater.

What do you think?
Jessica

This email is too long! There’s repetition, and there’s plenty of “filler” taking up space.

Good Example

Watch what happens when we’re concise and take out the filler words:

Hi Matt,

I wanted to quickly discuss the email marketing campaign that we analyzed last Thursday. Our target market will want to know about the company’s philanthropic efforts, especially our goals to become sustainable and help local schools.

This would make a far greater impact, and it would stay in their minds longer than a traditional sales pitch.

What do you think?
Jessica

3. Concrete

When your message is concrete, then your audience has a clear picture of what you’re telling them. There are details (but not too many!) and vivid facts, and there’s laser-like focus. Your message is solid.

Bad Example

Consider this advertising copy:

The Lunchbox Wizard will save you time every day.

A statement like this probably won’t sell many of these products. There’s no passion, no vivid detail, nothing that creates emotion, and nothing that tells people in the audience why they should care. This message isn’t concrete enough to make a difference.

Good Example

How much time do you spend every day packing your kids’ lunches? No more! Just take a complete Lunchbox Wizard from your refrigerator each day to give your kids a healthy lunch and have more time to play or read with them!

This copy is better because there are vivid images. The audience can picture spending quality time with their kids – and what parent could argue with that? And mentioning that the product is stored in the refrigerator explains how the idea is practical. The message has come alive through these details.

4. Correct

When your communication is correct, it fits your audience. And correct communication is also error-free communication.

• Do the technical terms you use fit your audience’s level of education or knowledge?

• Have you checked your writing for grammatical errors? Remember, spell checkers won’t catch everything.

• Are all names and titles spelled correctly?

Bad Example

Hi Daniel,

Thanks so much for meeting me at lunch today! I enjoyed our conservation, and I’m looking forward to moving ahead on our project. I’m sure that the two-weak deadline won’t be an issue.

Thanks again, and I’ll speak to you soon!

Best,
Jack Miller

If you read that example fast, then you might not have caught any errors. But on closer inspection, you’ll find two. Can you see them?

The first error is that the writer accidentally typed conservation instead of conversation. This common error can happen when you’re typing too fast. The other error is using weak instead of week.

Again, spell checkers won’t catch word errors like this, which is why it’s so important to proofread everything!

5. Coherent

When your communication is coherent, it’s logical. All points are connected and relevant to the main topic, and the tone and flow of the text is consistent.

Bad Example

Traci,

I wanted to write you a quick note about the report you finished last week. I gave it to Michelle to proof, and she wanted to make sure you knew about the department meeting we’re having this Friday. We’ll be creating an outline for the new employee handbook.

Thanks,
Michelle

As you can see, this email doesn’t communicate its point very well. Where is Michelle’s feedback on Traci’s report? She started to mention it, but then she changed the topic to Friday’s meeting.

Good Example

Hi Traci,

I wanted to write you a quick note about the report you finished last week. I gave it to Michelle to proof, and she let me know that there are a few changes that you’ll need to make. She’ll email you her detailed comments later this afternoon.

Thanks,
Michelle

Notice that in the good example, Michelle does not mention Friday’s meeting. This is because the meeting reminder should be an entirely separate email. This way, Traci can delete the report feedback email after she makes her changes, but save the email about the meeting as her reminder to attend. Each email has only one main topic.

6. Complete

In a complete message, the audience has everything they need to be informed and, if applicable, take action.

• Does your message include a “call to action,” so that your audience clearly knows what you want them to do?
• Have you included all relevant information – contact names, dates, times, locations, and so on?

Bad Example

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to send you all a reminder about the meeting we’re having tomorrow!

See you then,
Chris

This message is not complete, for obvious reasons. What meeting? When is it? Where? Chris has left his team without the necessary information.

Good Example

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to remind you about tomorrow’s meeting on the new telecommuting policies. The meeting will be at 10:00 a.m. in the second-level conference room. Please let me know if you can’t attend.

See you then,
Chris

7. Courteous

Courteous communication is friendly, open, and honest. There are no hidden insults or passive-aggressive tones. You keep your reader’s viewpoint in mind, and you’re empathetic to their needs.

Bad Example

Jeff,

I wanted to let you know that I don’t appreciate how your team always monopolizes the discussion at our weekly meetings. I have a lot of projects, and I really need time to get my team’s progress discussed as well. So far, thanks to your department, I haven’t been able to do that. Can you make sure they make time for me and my team next week?

Thanks,
Phil

Well, that’s hardly courteous! Messages like this can potentially start office-wide fights. And this email does nothing but create bad feelings, and lower productivity and morale. A little bit of courtesy, even in difficult situations, can go a long way.

Good Example

Hi Jeff,

I wanted to write you a quick note to ask a favor. During our weekly meetings, your team does an excellent job of highlighting their progress. But this uses some of the time available for my team to highlight theirs. I’d really appreciate it if you could give my team a little extra time each week to fully cover their progress reports.

Thanks so much, and please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you!

Best,
Phil

What a difference! This email is courteous and friendly, and it has little chance of spreading bad feelings around the office.

There are a few variations of the 7 Cs of Communication:

• Credible – Does your message improve or highlight your credibility? This is especially important when communicating with an audience that doesn’t know much about you.
• Creative – Does your message communicate creatively? Creative communication helps keep your audience engaged.

Observe and Move On! Narcissists Never Apologize!

When I think back to the past (for examples), and when I look to the present, there are some constants, some things that are the same in different situations, over different periods of time.

So how does one evaluate the genuineness of a friendship or of any relationship over time? What are the things that we can see that are “red flags” in everyday relationships, and possibly “red flags” in relationships in families or in co-workers or even at school? What are the key things that consistently show up that can warn us to beware, to be careful, to tread lightly?

This article might just help you in those areas, on the topic of finding safe people to be around, of finding those who are are genuinely interested in sincere friendship, a give and take relationship, a “both ways” friendship, one in which both persons work at the friendship or relationship rather than it just being a “I’ll take all; you give” type of negative relationship.

First listen and observe…

One of the first things you should look for is to note the “person” themselves, look at them, listen to them, see them, hear them, observe. Notice how they react to other people. For example, if there is a person who is constantly calling someone names, or constantly putting people down, realize that this is not “contained” behaviour. If a person constantly and consistently calls someone names or puts them down, most likely, that person does it to everyone, about everyone. Think about it. If a person is pointing out to you that someone is ugly, or sweaty or too short or too tall or too fat, and they are always doing this, most likely, that same name-caller is talking about you behind your back. Did you ever expect that? Probably not.

The Gossiper…

In today’s world, there are many people who gossip about others and they do it as a pastime, as a hobby. Usually these are people who have nothing better to do. They are either bored with their own lives or angry about their own situation. So, they use their time to gossip, to put others down, to belittle others in front of any audience that will listen to them. And so, if you listen, you are their audience.

Don’t be the audience!

But, beware, kiddies. You see, the truth is, that if you are someone’s audience, most likely, at any given time in the future or even in the present, you, the audience will or would become the target, the one who is spoken about. That’s the truth.

Gossippers do not contain their gossip. The ones who belittle other people to others, usually will be doing the same about you and your friends. Just wait, give it time, and you will see.

Beware the gossipers!

That’s the first red flag in a relationship whether that be at school or at work or at a community center or even on vacation or anywhere else. The person who spends their time putting down other people, is usually the same person who spends their time putting you down also, and calling you names also.

So lesson be learned, don’t be the gossiper’s audience. When possibly avoid being the audience. And if the gossiper doesn’t learn that people don’t want to hear the put downs, then make yourself scarce for the gossiper.

Never say sorry?

Quite possibly, the second red flag (a sign that you don’t want to spend lots of time with a particular person) might be about the person’s total inability to apologize to someone when they have done wrong. That’s right.

If somene has harmed you, whether it be physical or just verbal or emotional, and you have told the person that they have harmed you or that what they did was wrong, and they refuse to utter a sincere apology, you might want to take the next parts of that relationship with a grain of salt.

And why? Here’s why. If a person has harmed you, and they don’t apologize, that can mean only that they have no intention of not repeating the same offense, whatever the offense is. If they try to “explain” it away, or double talk you and still don’t apologize; they don’t admit they were wrong, then they are not sincere in wanting to value your friendship or your relationship.

Don’t be bait!

A person who has harmed you, either by accident or on purpose, and who has not apologized to you, knows that you are bait and you will accept practically anything from them. That’s pretty much how it comes across.

Do you really want someone like that around you for any extended periods of time?

Are you happy knowing that the person refuses to apologize –ever? (Perhaps that is not the first time that they have not apologized. Perhaps they have harmed you once or twice or even three times before and never apologized? Isn’t that obvious that they are not valuing your friendship? Only you can answer that question.

The False Apology

And now, we come to what is known as the “false apology”. The false apology is one in which the person verbally tells you they are sorry, but in the same sentence or in the same letter, or in the same email, they “blame” you for something. So basically, they are blaming you for what they did to you. And that negates their apology and that makes their apology a fake apology.

For example, the person says, “I’m sorry”, and then goes on to say, “But you, this and that, and you shouldn’t have done this or that” –and they connect that whatever it is –with their reason for their apology. Trix are for kids! That’s right, like the rabbit says, “Tricks are for kids”, not for adults! So when it comes to adults and when it comes to sincere apologies, let’s not beat around the bush with the tricks and the word games and the mind games.

If you see any of these red flags in that so-called apology, that person really hasn’t apologized to you, at all. What they are saying to you is “Yes, I know that you need me to apologize to you, so I’m verbally saying “sorry” to you, however, I’m going to use this time, this apology time (letter, email, etc) to blame you for something.

They blame you?

That’s no apology!

Someone who is sincerely sorry, and someone who has no intentions of harming you in that same way again, will not blame you for something when they apologize to you. A sincere person will apologize PERIOD! That’s right. A sincere person who is sorry for what they did or for what they said, will tell you genuinely that they are sorry ( in more than two words, smiles), and they will not utter anything about blaming you for anything. And that’s the truth.

Once you hear the person apologizing and in that same moment, they are blaming you for something, that person is rescinding their apology, in other words, they are offereing a false apology.

Are you ready to have a person like that around you for extended periods of time? Are you ready to extend any energy or any friendsip to a person who will do wrong and then try to blame you with their ‘apology”?

Most people…

Most people rarely do something that requires an apology, so, this article is really focusing on the rare individual, that one has it deeply imbedded in their soul that they are never wrong, never do wrong and therefore never need to apologize. Just a handful fit that bill. So, don’t let this article keep you away from making friends but rather just let it open your eyes to the small handful in this world that are mainly there to never apologize after they do wrong.

If you keep your eyes and ears open for those two red flags, you just might avoid getting tangled into the web of someone who could potentially harm you deeply in the future. After all, if a person isn’t held accountable for what they do and they continuously don’t take responsibility for what they do, that person really has no incentive to be nice in the future.

In summary, thankfully, there are only a few individuals that you will ever meet that will wave those two red flags at you and expect you to still be there for them, to be their audience or to be their “have it my way” friend.

So, go out, have fun, be cool, and meet new friends. Enjoy life! Do things that you enjoy doing! Go places that you enjoy going to. And most of all, be with people who you want to be with and who want to be with you!

Are You Drowning in Emails? 6 Tips to Get Out From Under

When I was a child, I loved running to the door whenever I heard the mail carrier arrived. I would stand there waiting to grab the envelopes before they were stuffed into the mailbox. I didn’t want to waste a minute.

I couldn’t wait to see if there was anything exciting or unexpected for me. Most days, admittedly, there weren’t. But, occasionally a birthday invitation or a letter from my grandma would surprise me and make my day.

Monday through Saturday, once a day, I delighted in the potential that delivery might bring.

These days, I barely notice when mail gets shoved through my door slot. If it weren’t for my dog’s barking, I wouldn’t even know it had arrived.

That rush and thrill of the unknown are now experienced innumerable times each day. All I have to do is look at my inbox. Whether at my computer, my tablet, or my phone, anywhere, anytime, “You’ve got mail” can light up the pleasure zone in my brain.

However, that trigger leads to an addictive habit-checking email regularly throughout the day. As an entrepreneur, this habit is non-productive, and a stress-inducing pattern that I have had to learn to control.

Indeed, research proves that the pleasure zone in the brain that lights up every time a gambler, alcoholic or shopaholic reaches for their fix is the same one in our brains when we check our emails. And, the more we do so, the more we have to do so, to receive that same pleasurable sensation.

Many business professionals might argue with me when I say constantly checking emails is a problem. They’ll tell me it’s convenient always to have access to emails wherever and whenever you want. And, how great it is to be instantly able to respond to customers, or get caught up on the latest industry news.

I can only tell you what the research is finding, and what I saw happening to me and so many of my clients when email became an addictive habit.

When the first thing we do each day is read our emails, even before getting out of bed, inadvertently, we hand over our day’s agenda. Most emails are requesting something from us: a response to an inquiry, a decision to purchase something, or to read the important news we think is urgent for us to know.

Rather than attending to what is most important to us and our business, we find ourselves going down the rabbit hole; we are responding, reading or looking at info that’s relevant to someone else.

Although surveys and studies indicate the average adult checks their emails approximately 15 times a day, for many, it could be way more. The Relevancy Group is a market research company which measures consumer and executive behaviors. They found 66% of online consumers check their email account multiple times per day, with 13% of online consumers checking their email hourly or more frequently. We are diving into the inbox all day, every day; it’s no wonder we feel like we are drowning in email.

With all these emails staring at us, our brains receive the subtle message that we have so much to do. Others are waiting for a response from us. It’s stressful! And time-consuming!

Respond immediately to email, and you will find you’ve turned your attention away from whatever else you were working on, or intended to work on. Don’t respond, and the pile just gets larger and larger causing us to feel out of control.

Our to-do list gets longer each time we try to attend to those unread emails. Or the ones that have been sitting in our inbox for weeks. FOMO (fear of missing out) increases, so we don’t delete. We tell ourselves we’ll get to that when we have the time.

Sometimes, we check email hoping it will direct us towards what to do with our day, rather than proactively deciding what’s the most important task we should be working on.

Or worse yet, we use email to procrastinate. When there’s something that we don’t want to do, it’s amazing what our brains can come up with to avoid doing what needs to be done. Email is such a great excuse! We tell ourselves, “I’ll just clean up the inbox first, and then get down to work.” Before you know it, hours have gone by, and now the message is, “There’s not enough time today. I’ll handle this tomorrow.”

When reading the same email we’ve looked at several times before, we are procrastinating making a decision. We’re not sure how we want to respond, or if this is necessary info we’ll need in the future, or is this item something we may want to buy. Procrastination adds to our sense of anxiety and stress.

The research shows that the more we give into this addictive email habit, the more our stress levels increase. One study out of the University of British Columbia proved the opposite-less frequent email checks made people much happier throughout the day.

So, if we could break the habit of constantly checking our emails throughout the day, we’d reduce our stress, be more productive, and be happier! To me, it seems well worth it to try and do so.

Instead of responding to emails one by one as they roll in, set aside certain times of the day (perhaps morning, afternoon and night) to tend to messages. Doing so will help you feel more in control of the flow, and you won’t be switching back and forth between different tasks all day.

Are you ready to reduce your dependency on email, lower your stress, stop procrastinating and feel more in control of your life? If so, you need to learn some very specific strategies to deal effectively with this problem.

  1. Decide on an email schedule that makes sense for your business and your lifestyle. Unless you are in customer service or another business in which responding to emails instantly is your job, almost everyone can reduce the frequency of diving into the inbox.
  2. Shut down your email program and all notifications about mail, and only have it open during the allotted times.
  3. Resist opening your email first thing in the morning. Exercise, eat a healthy breakfast, plan out the day ahead, and work on the most important project for that day for at least an hour.
  4. Develop a system to manage emails and keep your inbox relatively free. Train yourself to handle each email only once. Take care of it, delete it, delegate it, or file.
  5. Unsubscribe to all emails that you never get around to reading or you know cause you to waste time. If unsubscribing makes you uncomfortable, remind yourself that you can always resubscribe if you find yourself missing them in the future.
  6. Create a read laterfolder for the newsletters you enjoy and that bring value to your life. Move those emails immediately out of your inbox, and know when you will get to them. Clean that folder out at the end of each week. Take the time to either read or delete those you haven’t gotten to.

It took me awhile to wean myself off of constantly checking my emails and to come up with a system that works for me. Truth be told, sometimes I waiver.

But when I do, I quickly notice I am procrastinating getting important stuff done, and my stress level is increasing along with the number of emails sitting in my inbox. So, I go back to basics and follow my system.

Now, I recognize that asking you only to check your email three or four times a day initially could cause you more stress! But, once you break this addictive habit and experience how much more relaxed and accomplished life feels, you’ll be so glad you did!